


Pride

by Travelinpassion



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, F/F, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 16:39:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16768924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Travelinpassion/pseuds/Travelinpassion
Summary: Prompt from Holtzbert week 2018, day 3: Pride. The GBs are invited to march in the Pride parade. Some things are brought up that Erin wasn't expecting to have to face.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, Boss? There’s a prize committee on the phone,” Kevin announces to no one in particular. He holds the handset at arm’s length while biting into a suddenly-appearing breakfast burrito in his other hand. Erin and Abby sigh, but Patty moves over to him, “Ghostbusters, Patty.” She nods and hums along until she concludes the call. “Yeah, we can do that. Just send a written request to the email address on the website. Thanks!” She has a huge smile on her face when she looks back to the others. “Guys! We’ve just been unofficially, soon to be officially, invited to march in the Pride parade!” At this, Holtz drops what she is doing and dances her way across the room to high-five Patty, “Nice! I’ll have to get started on the modifications to Ecto-3... We’ll have to figure out what we’re wearing, I’m sure none of you can handle what I had planned to wear.” She shoots finger guns at Abby and Erin, frowning when Erin just stands there, frozen and pale. 

“You know, we should see if we can get a booth or something. We can get some of our photos printed and sell autographs or even just try and get people to pay for posed pictures with us on their phones,” Abby supplies. “And Holtz, we should just wear our coveralls, but audio/visual mods to the hearse could be fun; NO poofs.” 

“Come again?” Erin stutters.

“Yes, please.” Holtz grins.

“I said lights and music would be fun...” 

Erin shakes her head and stares hard at Patty. “Where have we been invited?”

“Uh, Pride? To be in the parade? You ok? If you skipped breakfast, you should eat; bring up your blood sugar and maybe some color back to your face,” Patty had moved to the kitchenette while talking but rests her hand on the refrigerator handle when Erin responds. “Pride Parade. Pride parade. Yay, Pride! Uh, no Patty, that’s ok. I was just going to step outside for a break anyway, I’ll make a coffee run. Everyone want their usual? Great. Nothing but the usual happening here. Just a regular, run-of-the-mill, every day, totally normal, coffee run...” Erin’s voice fades away as she scurries to the door, leaving her purse in plain-view atop her desk. 

“You know we ain’t getting no coffee, right?”

“Yep.” Abby agrees with Patty. Holtz stares at the door after Erin. 

To their surprise, Erin does have coffee when she returns, two hours later. She tells them a winding story of having decided to pick up sandwich fixings for lunch (and soup for Abby) before getting the coffee, but didn’t find what she wanted at the first store, and thus began a wild goose chase that included five shops and two trains. She huffs out a breath when she finally sits at her desk again; Abby and Patty sort through the bags of food to store for a little later in the day and spout their thanks all the while. “Yeah, thanks, Erin,” Holtz adds neutrally, a bit late, from her corner of the room, where she’d sat through the whole ordeal, disbelieving Erin’s story.

As V-Day (“Don’t call it that, Holtz” ‘Alright...’) swiftly approaches, the Ghostbusters stay busy with busts and research and paperwork, but manage to shoot around a couple Pride ideas and begin to firm up their plans. Kevin will drive the hearse while the others walk near it, to wave at and greet parade-goers (Holtz privately decides she’s going to ride on the roof). They will wear their coveralls while representing the Ghostbusters, but add Pride-themed accessories. The Ecto-3 is loaded up with fiber-optics that turn the red roof and its side walls into a whirl of rainbow pulses based on crowd noise; the nuclear components and rooftop-rack will be removed and locked safely away at the firehouse for the event. Aside from the logos, which have been enhanced with fiber-optics as well, the rest of the car body will be treated with a hyper-pigmented, pearlizing top coat. So, while it will technically remain white, any change of light or viewing angle will reveal yet more rainbows. Holtz also builds a ‘bad-ass sound system’ that can be easily installed that morning. She mentally sets aside the day and night before V-Day to paint the car and install the optics; not wanting to spoil their surprise while still keeping the vehicle available for its intended purpose. They’ve secured a space for a booth and have pre-signed prints of a group action-shot waiting next to the cashbox, and the tablet they bring to busts for on-site payment will be utilized also.

The weekend before all the festivities they declare a girls-night-in on Friday. They order in, queue up some guilty pleasure movies, and settle in to lounge the night away. Holtz moves her bean-bag chair away from directly in front of the TV, further back in the room in order to watch more than just the movie. She’s been observing Erin ever since her reaction to receiving the initial invitation. Aside from that first morning, Erin has put on a good show. She still tenses up whenever the topic arises, but is able to participate in their conversations, albeit less enthusiastically than a usual group discussion. Initially, Holtz was angry and disappointed with Erin’s anti-Pride reaction. She had already convinced herself that she could never have anything with straight-as-an-arrow Erin, but to think Erin was so opposed to the LGBT+ community that she would have a physical reaction was gut-wrenching. Erin seemed to come around the more they discussed and made decisions. Her gradual outward acceptance eased Holtz’s hurt, also.

Holtz is brought back from her musing by a question from Patty, “Hey baby, you doing any sort of face paint next weekend?” 

“OH! Yeah, I had an idea for us. I was thinking we could each have the Pride flag on our cheek or whichever flag we prefer. Like you could do the Ally flag. If we decide soon, I can probably find temporary tattoos of our choices, so it will be SO much easier and we can concentrate on other more fun poofs, I mean stuff... So, what do you think? Should I grab four Pride tattoos? Do you guys want to be more specific than that?” 

“Good idea, Holtz. Get me an Ace flag, will ya?” Abby responds distractedly, pressing play on the Weird Science DVD she’d just put in the player. 

“You got it. Patty?” “I’ll rep the Allies. Set me up, Holtzy.” 

“Great! Erin, you want an Ally flag too? Erin?” Holtz turns back to Erin’s seat in time to see her leave the room, going upstairs. Holtz looks to Patty, who just shrugs in confusion. Sighing, Holtz shakes her head and stands, “That’s it. I’ll go tell her she doesn’t have to be there if it’s so hard for her to be around not-straight people.” 

“Holtz... just... go easy, ok? I’m exactly not sure that’s what’s happening here,” Abby offers, now fully paying attention to them. Holtz gives her a curt nod and turns to the staircase. She finally finds Erin on the roof, leaning back against on the outer wall in front of the door; arms crossed, shoulders hunched, looking down as the toe of her shoe scrapes the floor. Finding Erin standing like this deflates Holtz the rest of the way, after Abby’s comment. “Erin?”

Her head snaps up on a loud inhale, eyes wide, “Holtz! You, uh, followed me?” 

“Yeah... I’m crazy like that. Rushing into dangerous situations and poofs and what not,” Holtz trails off when Erin drops her gaze again, but not before Holtz sees the hurt look on it. She moves to stand a few feet in front of Erin.

“You think talking to me is a dangerous situation?” Erin says to her shoes. 

Several responses run through Holtz’s mind before she lands on, “Depends on why you walked out on that conversation.” 

“I just needed some air,” Erin hides further by turning to look out over the city, her back to Holtz. 

“Don’t. Don’t lie to me. If you don’t want to put a flag on your face, whatever. If it’s going to be that difficult for you to be in a queer crowd, just stay home.” Abby’s advice is promptly forgotten as Holtz’s anger rises again. Erin stills as Holtz tries to keep her rising heartrate in check. “Is that what you think?” Erin’s voice is the smallest Holtz has ever heard. “I don’t know what to think, Erin. You freak out at the invitation, barely tolerate any further conversation about it... No one is forcing you to participate; you can go be with people like you.” 

“Like me?” 

“Yeah, straight-not-allies.” Erin turns her head to look at Holtz, who has moved next to her along the wall. She focuses hard on Holtz’s eyes for a few breaths then looks down again, “Not like me.”

“Not like you? Are you not a not-ally?”

“That’s a double negative.”

“Yes, it is, but answer me anyway,” Holtz reaches out to Erin’s arm and turns her so they face each other. 

“I’m not an ally.” Holtz scoffs, prompting Erin to continue louder. “I can’t be an ally because, because I’m n-not straight.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Whaa-aat?”

Erin turns back to the wall and looks down to the street. “I’m not straight.” She doesn’t stutter this time, and while her voice is soft, her words are clear. 

“So, you’re gay?”

“No.”

“But you’re not straight.”

“Yes.”

“Ok... Erin, if you’re... not straight... why have you been acting so weird with all this Pride stuff?” Holtz tries to keep her heart and mind from racing away, now knowing Erin is … not straight!

“I’ve really tried not to be. At least after that first day. I panicked at first.” Holtz nods, with curious look on her face. “But... why did you panic? Why has this been such a struggle for you? Why did you walk away before downstairs?”

“Listen, Holtz. It’s great that you’re so confident in who you are. I admire it, but not everyone can live so out and proud. Get it?”

“No. No one is asking you to live any differently than you have been.”

“Really?! My keep-your-head-down, kiss-all-the-right-asses, only-draw-attention-to-yourself-in-acceptable-situations life was turned UPSIDE down the moment Ed Mulgrave found me in the big hall at Princeton. I had my science and, if I got a handle on my too-sexy-for-academia clothes, I would have had my tenure! All that went right out the door the moment this ghost stuff came back up! And, don’t get me wrong, I see now that while I would have been happy to have achieved a personal goal, the goal I set and its execution was hollow. My life would still have been incomplete. My time working with you guys has helped me make more personal progress than decades of therapy, but I can’t just tell the world to ‘suck it’.”

“I still don’t understand, Erin. None of what you said has anything to do with Pride.”

“YES! Yes, it does. It has everything to do with Pride! Marching in the parade is already a statement. I’ve spent my life running away from labels, Holtz! I don’t need more thrust upon me. That morning, when I went out for coffee, I was finally able to return because I convinced myself that showing up to an event to which we had been invited didn’t mean anything other than I am a polite person who accepts invitations. I have been on edge whenever the topic came up, but so far, that’s all I had to be. Tonight’s conversation was too much for me.”

In her head, Holtz replays the downstairs conversation applying this new information. Erin presses on when Holtz stays quiet. “Story-teller, liar, attention-seeker, crazy, head-case, Ghost Girl. The list goes on. I didn’t want to add another name to be called, another reason for people to judge me.”

“I guess I still don’t understand. I mean, I hear you about the name-calling, but why not just go on letting us think you’re straight?”

“An incorrect label is far worse than having a label in the first place.” Erin locks eyes with Holtz, imploring her to understand more than just the face value of her words. She waits while Holtz studies her, not wanting to speak first and potentially give away more than is requested. Finally, Holtz nods and huffs out through her nose.

“So... you’re saying it is important for us to know your sexuality...”

“You. It’s important for you to know.”

“Okay... for me to know, but I’m getting the sense you still aren’t ready for anyone outside the firehouse to know... is that accurate?” Erin gives a contemplative frown (which makes Holtz bite her tongue to stop herself from blurting out just how cute she thinks Erin is when working through something) and nods to agree with the assessment. “And before the conversation downstairs, you were okay with the day – with marching in the parade – with everything we had discussed?” Erin’s nod comes almost immediately this time. Holtz’s face splits in a grin (which makes Erin’s breath catch), “That’s easy then! You can do everything like we’ve already decided. You go as the brilliant, innovative, fun, kick-ass Ghostbuster you are! Who also happens to be a polite person who accepts invitations. I just won’t get a flag tattoo for you; just for Abby, Patty, and me.”

Erin, who had been pleased and a little embarrassed at Holtz’s praise, deflates with the last addition to Holtz’s solution. She tries to keep outwardly positive when she tells Holtz that sounds great, but inside she’s holding back the hurt feeling at getting pushed out of part of something that was meant to be all four of them, even if she was only removed from one small part of the whole. There’s also the building frustration that Holtz seems to have ignored her own importance in the situation. That she’s the reason Erin finally felt compelled to set the record straight, or not-straight, as it were. 

“Are you going to come back to the slumber party, now?” Holtz asks tentatively. Much as she likes Thinking Erin, she wants to see Happy Erin, or even Thankful-and-or-Excited Erin who wraps Holtz in a hug for making her not Sad Erin anymore. That doesn’t seem to be happening though and she’s at a loss. Erin takes a slow breath, gives her a half smile, and heads to the door. Holtz adjusts her glasses and follows her. 

Abby and Patty turn around at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Holtz answers without prompting, “She’ll be right down. Just stopped to freshen up.” She’s still gathering her snacks, drink, and arranging her chair when she realizes Abby and Patty are still looking at her with the movie paused. At Abby’s more pointed look, Holtz elaborates, “I didn’t yell at her or make her cry! We talked, she explained, everything is still a go for Pride. Except the flag thing, she’s not going to do that, but don’t worry, I’ll still make sure ours are all set.”

“Erin didn’t want to choose a flag to wear on her cheek?” Something about Abby’s phrasing sounds funny to Holtz, but she just shakes her head in response. “And it was Erin’s idea to be separate from the group on this?” 

“Well... no. She said that was the only part that made her uncomfortable, so I said she could skip it and she said ‘great idea’, though not the way she normally says ‘great idea’, but she seemed okay, just needed a minute before coming back down.”

“Holtzy, maybe we should skip it too, if it makes Erin feel some type a way. She’s just too nice to ask us not to.”

“I don’t know, Patty, now that it’s a thing, she’ll feel bad if she thinks she’s the reason we didn’t do something we wanted to do.” Abby glances up at the groan of the top step and concludes quickly, “It’s up to you Holtzmann, you were the one who actually discussed it with her.”

Erin offers a tight smile around the room as she enters. No one draws attention to the fact that instead of reclaiming her original arm chair, she curls up in the small space left by the bend in Abby’s knees on the love-seat. 

The remaining Ghostbusters stand in front of a very bouncy Holtz the morning of the parade, awaiting her final Ecto-3 modifications demonstration.

“Ooo, ok, we’re bouncing this morning... just, ah... how many energy drinks have you had since we left last night?” Erin had to raise her voice as she finished her question to be heard over Holtz’s exuberance. 

“My sweet Erin, the only enhancements you see before you this morning were created BY me not IN me. This is me au naturel, no boosters required; just me hopped on the power of pu- Pride! Pride, I mean, it’s like Christmas! You open a good one and it’s the gift the keeps on coming – GIVING! Anyway! If you guys would like to follow me, we’ll take a brief tour around the vehicle as I show you everything she can do.”

With raised eyebrows and glances between them, they followed two steps behind Holtz while she thoroughly demonstrated everything in full NYC Walking-tour Guide mode. Afterward, they all got ready and made their way through the city to find the parade’s starting line-up location. It was as they were milling around, awaiting the parade’s start, that Erin asked the question neither Patty or Abby wanted to voice, “Hey, where are the flag tattoos you guys were going to wear on your cheeks?” Before anyone can even think to keep a neutral face, Holtz shouts, “OH!” and rushes around to dive into the backdoor of the hearse. She returns with a small towel and bottle of water in one hand and something hidden in the other. She quickly hands small cards to Abby and Patty, but stands in front of Erin to catch her eye before presenting the third card to Erin. “I fixed it,” Holtz says in a volume just for them. Erin inspects what she was handed. It’s a business card with a perforation down the center. The left side has all the Ghostbuster info: website, social media handles, phone number; the right side is double layered: a plastic film over what looks to be the mirror image of their logo, except the ‘No’ symbol around the ghost isn’t red, it’s a blended, repeating rainbow. 

Holtz is a little scared when Erin looks back up to her with tears in her eyes. She doesn’t worry long before Erin nearly knocks her over with the force of her bear hug. Holtz hugs her back, so tight she doesn’t even realize the towel and water are gone and two palms press flat against her back. They finally separate when Abby clears her throat and offers to help apply their tattoos. It seems Abby, Patty, AND Kevin were able to secure theirs while Erin and Holtz were holding each other. Holtz violently clears her own throat and bobs back into the back of the hearse, handing stacks of cards to everyone but Kevin. 

“I got 500 of these babies made. I figured we could hand them out on the parade route and in our booth later.”

“Nice work, Holtzmann!” “No, you didn’t! Nice, Holtzy!” She hears both of these exclamations but is focused on Erin’s hand, which has just grasped her own. “Great idea, Holtz.” She’s never heard Erin say it like that before, either.


End file.
